The Jeep Wave
An honor has been bestowed upon you with the superior intelligence, taste, class, and discomfort tolerance to own the ULTIMATE vehicle- the JEEP! Generally consisting of vigorous side to side motion of one or both hands, but may not be modified to suit circumstances and locally accepted etiquette.
Examples of Commonly accepted modifications:
Top Off: One handed wave windshield or outside body tub.
Top Off during Blizzard: Shiver and nod, hands may remain frozen to steering wheel.
Southern/Rural Locations: Raise fingers from steering wheel and nod.
It's not what you buy, it's what you build and what you do with it.
In keeping with this cardinal rule of Jeeping, categories have been established for each part of the equation.
These categories are:
The Jeep Waving Hierarchy: Based on the vehicle itself. Takes into account the nostalgia factor, the discomfort tolerance quotient, and the amount of owner dedication required to maintain the steed.
The Modifying Sub-Categories:
Based on what you do with your Jeep
What you Build.
1. All Jeepers are responsible for upholding the tradition of the Wave. Upon contact with a higher scoring Jeep, a Jeeper is required to initiate "The Wave" and continue "The Wave" until:
"The Wave" is returned, blatantly disregarded, or the higher scoring vehicle has passed by and is out of sight.
2. All Jeepers are required to return "The Wave" unless the initiating vehicle has a negative (below 0) score.
3. All Jeepers are encouraged, but not required to return "The Wave" to negative balance vehicles, and take any opportunity presented to guides and mentor them about their responsibilities to their Jeeps in the hopes that they can correct the error of their ways.
4. When unsure of status or wave requirements of a particular, encounter or unable to completely assess the other Jeep's score quickly enough to ensure that the proper "Jeep Wave Etiquette" rules are followed, immediately initiate Wave.
When in doubt, WHIP IT OUT!!!!
First, the Jeep Waving Hierarchy (JWH)
Category A Pre-CJ: 30
Category B Pre-AMC CJ: 27
Category C Other CJ: 25
Category D Commando: 20
Category E YJ 16
Category F TJ 15
Category G Cherokee, Wagoneer: 10
Category H All other Jeeps: 5
Category I All other 4WD vehicles EXCEPT yuppie Explorers: 0
Category J All other vehicles 0
The Modifying Sub-Categories (MSCs)
(What you do with it)MSC Guidelines
1. MSCs must be considered during all Jeep encounters, and wave patterns must be adjusted accordingly.
2. MSC 5 is the median - the accepted norm.
3. MSCs from 1 through 4 will increase score as listed.
4. MSCs 6 and 7 will decrease score as listed.
MSC 1: Top off; vehicle, driver, and all occupants covered with mud: +30
MSC 2: Top partially off; vehicle and some occupants covered with Mud: +20
MSC 3: Top on; vehicle covered with mud: +10
MSC 4: Top off during snow, sleet, hail, or heavy rain: +5
MSC 5: Somewhat dirty: 0
MSC 6: Obviously recently washed, but immediately re-muddied a little: -10
MSC 7: Clean, dry, unscratched, untested: -30
(What you build)
Consideration must be given to the current mechanical condition of the vehicle, including all modifications for trailworthiness, comfort, appearance, and spouse-appeasal. These are known as Equipment Adjustments (EAs). EAs are a complicated category, and often difficult to appraise under certain conditions (passing head-to-head at 60 mph, when covered with mud, etc.), but must be used to modify score when feasible. If a vehicle is so covered with mud that you are unable to ascertain any of the EAs, you MUST assume that the EAs, when combined with the MSC 1 adjustment, would place the vehicle in a higher scoring position than any non-MSC 1 Jeep, and immediately initiate the wave.
Otherwise, EAs will adjust score as follows:
Stock, Pre-CJ, Working Condition: +2
Stock, 8-cyl: +2
Stock, 6-cyl: +1
Stock, 4-cyl: 0
Replaced, 8-cyl: +3
Replaced, 6-cyl (replacing 4-cyl): +2
Replaced, 6-cyl (replacing 6-cyl): 0
Replaced, 6-cyl (replacing 8-cyl): -1
Replaced, 4-cyl: -1
Drivetrain Modifications:Improved internal mechanical parts (crank/cam/etc): +2 each
Upgraded Transmission: NV4500 or Turbo400: +3, All others: +2
Upgraded Transfer Case: +2
Improved exterior mechanical parts (headers/manifolds/pumps/filters/etc): +1 each
Stone stock in a pre-1970 vehicle: +3 (for nostalgia and historical analysis)
All Comfort enhancements removed for more power: +2
Tires:Stock or unremarkable: 0
Original Tires on Pre-CJ: +2
Slightly oversized (up to 31"): +1
Over 31, with other appropriate mods: +2
Any size, currently covered with mud: +2
Working tires > 31" with original donut spare: -2
Suspension:Stock, Pre-CJ: +2 if driver can still walk after an hour in the saddle
Body lift: +1/inch
Suspension lift: +2/inch
Spring-Over Lift: +3
High-quality shocks: +2
Other accessories/conditions:Winch, heavy-duty, obviously used: +2
Winch, heavy-duty, use unclear: +1
Other winch, obviously used: +1
Little, chrome-covered, toy winch: -1
Upgraded axles: +1
Upgraded transfer case: +1
Each chrome accessory currently shiny: -1
Each neon accessory: -2
Fire extinguishers: +1
Block and Tackle, anchors, etc: +2
Ropes, straps, tow chains: +1
Tow Hooks: +1
Nerf Bars/Rock Rails, used and scarred: +2
Nerf Bars, shiny, no scars: -1
Heavy duty bash/skid plates: +1
Other protective plating (diamond plate, etc): +2 if scarred, -2 if unscarred
Extra fuel tanks/oversize fuel tanks: +1
External Gear Carrying Rack: +1
Multi disc-CD Player: -1
More than one subwoofer: -1 each
First Aid Kit: +1
Backpack, food, emergency gear (just in case): +2
On-board air compressor: +1
On-board Welder: +2
Girly, shiny chrome center caps: -1
Krylon/Home paint job: +1 (for realizing it's just gonna happen again)
Blackout Headlight Covers: -1
Any little flippy interior vanity mirrors: -1
Children in vehicle: +1/each (for proper training/indoctrination), +2 if muddy, an immediate correction if not belted in.
EARNED trip stickers/badges/etc: +1/each
Unearned stickers/badges/etc: -2/each
Stickers advertising for other than 4wd-related businesses: -2 (except No Fear: -5)
MSC 1 vehicle in corporate lot sharing with neighbor vehicles: +1 per vehicle decorated
Correct mental attitude, seen or proven: +3
Windshield down: +1 (+2 if raining/snowing)
Bugs left on face/teeth as evidence of recent windshield down driving: +1 (+2 if more than a week old)
CB radio or other communication tool (for emergency only): +1
Hi-Lift Jack: +2
Flexible caulking to fill leaks and body damage: +2
Dogs as passengers, properly secured: +1 (sharing the joy of Jeeping)
Bringing a new Jeeper into the Family: +5
Extra Lighting, used for night-wheeling, not pastel or neon colored: +1/ea
Homemade roll bar pads: +1
Duct Tape currently in use: +1 per yard
Duct Tape Reserve: +1 per roll
Top on and windows up, warm day: -2
Grenade Hood Ornament: +1
P.A. - used to harass drivers of lesser vehicles: +1
Storage boxes from solid steel or ammo cans: +1
Waving while fighting the older Jeeps' natural urge to wander: +1
Plastic headlight covers/accessories: -1
Bra (on a Jeep - how could you??): -1
Snorkel Gear (functional): +2
Battle Scars:Mashed hood, top, etc., obviously from roll-over: +3
Holes above glove box where passenger ripped grab-bar out: +3
Heavily gouged rocker panels: +2
Bloody seats: +2
V-bent front bumper from being pulled out of the REALLY bad one:+2
Scarred sides from those mis-judged rocks: +1
Any small parking lot dent/scratch still identifiable: -1
Other accessories bent, folded, mangled or mutilated: +1, EXCEPT:
See above, but said item is owned by your spouse: +2
No scars whatsoever: -3 (Unless Pre-CJ restored, then: +3)
New body due to rust only: -5 (Unless a rescue, see discussion below)
New body due to damage: Previous damage points carry over (see discussion below)
Fire Damage (bubbled paint, singed seats, etc): +2
Limbs, Shrubs, etc. attached well enough to remain at highway speed:+1/each
Any rescue in Jeep's past requiring use of snowmobiles: +1
Any rescue in Jeep's past requiring use of boats: +2
Any rescue in Jeep's past requiring use of tracked vehicles: +2
Scars on driver-MUST be Jeep-related, may require proof:+1
Each Jeep rescue performed: +1
Owning, registering, or driving a Jeep implies knowledge of and intent to abide by the following rules, regulations, and guidelines. Failure to obey the letter or spirit of the rules may result in your being ignored by other Jeep owners as you sit along the side of the road next to your stalled vehicle in a blizzard surrounded by Saturns, Hondas, and Hyundais.